Exhausted but in Pursuit

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I love listening to podcasts during the day when I'm working on editing for work and other projects. Today I listened to a Bethel sermon by Eric Johnson called "Exhausted but in Pursuit". The title itself spoke volumes to my heart as this is something we've been experiencing for the last year - sometimes with passion and mostly with drudgery. The adoption journey can be more than exhausting...and as I've said before, I knew that going into it. But I didn't know it. I've been challenged in a lot of ways over the past year and mostly because we've been faced with those questions that many of us tend to ask when things don't go as planned. Or when pain and suffering comes so close it takes your breath away."Why did you allow this, God?""If you're so 'good', how can you let these painful things happen to those who love you!?""Are we really following you and did we hear you right?""Do you still care about me?"These are just a few of the questions that have come up for Dan and me over the last year. Especially after my mom died, I've wondered about these things often.Death has a way of up-rooting deepest fears.But somehow, in the midst of the heartache, the questions, the deepest of fears bubbling toward the surface, God has sustained us.We are still in pursuit- only by some miraculous love and courage that can only come from Him. Dan and I just got back from a two-week trip to Uganda. I think it was good for our hearts and God blessed us in new ways while we were there. We are still processing and wondering the long-term impact it may have on us and our lives - and I will be sharing more about that soon. But for now, the one vision impressed upon my heart is that of kids rejoicing. There were a particular group of kids we met that danced and sang with joy and passion for Jesus - and it humbled, amazed, and challenged us both. I'm really grateful for that.