World Adoption Day and Next Steps

Why does it have to be so hard?My heart overflowed on Sunday at church when we prayed together as a church family for the orphans of the world, for the foster children in our own city and state - for families who have chosen to bring foster and adopted kids into their homes. We prayed for courage to step into those places. We prayed God would move our hearts for his children all over the world.I cried through the whole thing.I believe and trust that God does have a plan and that we have to keep walking, keep trusting, keep moving from "strength to strength" on this journey. But I can't deny the hurt feelings I have and the questions I have - on Orphan Sunday and World Adoption Day. Why is this so hard? Why does it cost so much? Emotionally, financially, relationally. Why have we "tried" for four years and still haven't seen fruit? Not only have we had the four losses of kids we thought we would welcome into our home - we've had soo many potentials. So many different people have contacted us saying "we know this person who might make an adoption plan..." "We have this baby who was born and needs a family...", "this little boy was born with down syndrome - would you be interested?" We have said YES to all of these things - and yet none of them has worked out for us.Part of me feels a rise in anger at the system. I'm frustrated at the process and the unfortunate truth that agencies and people are making money off of vulnerable people - vulnerable children who need a family, and adults who are yearning and waiting for the chance to love these children. This is happening in the International adoption process as well as in the United States domestic process. I wish there was a way to change it (If anyone has ideas, let's talk).And then the other part of me. The other part of me (which seems smaller most of the time) feels a sense of perseverance and hope - that something very big and very wonderful must be coming our way - something we can't imagine and something that will bring us JOY overflowing. And this hope can only be from God. Because my human heart is broken and untrusting. The temptation to become bitter and angry is real - and the temptation to lose hope and stop trying is also something we have to fight against."But we have this hope as an anchor of the soul". And we hold on to that hope.And we keep going.So we have felt a confirmation to walk in this new direction. We are now in the paperwork process for foster care. Something we've been hesitant and nervous to enter into because of our experience and understanding of what it takes (more on this later). We'll be in a very unique program through Lutheran Family Services called the URM program, where we'll be on the list to foster unaccompanied refugee minors through a United Nations placement program. The kids will be coming to us from a refugee camp most likely in Africa somewhere. We don't know exactly what this looks like, but we're used to that with adoption. And foster-care can be even more unpredictable! We are waiting on a foster care training that happens in December. Once we've completed that, we should be on the list and will be waiting for the call. There's so much of this that is unknown and so muchWe keep practicing patience and trust in Christ who goes before us. I'm just clinging to the God who is Love. The God who is Peace. The God who is All-Knowing - and the God who loves the orphan so dearly. I pray that somehow, our story will bring hope to so many people - not only the children we bring into our home, not only us, but our friends, our community, and many more. And I pray for a ripple effect to take place when God moves - that will lovingly move more and more people into trusting obedience and real action.