To the one who needs forgiveness.

These past few months, I've come to a new and deeper understanding of a few important truths around forgiveness, grace, and loving those who persecute you. I'm still wrestling through them. Although I have always appreciated the command that Jesus taught; Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you..." I've never had to struggle through it in the way I do now.One thing I know - is that if it were up to me, without Jesus, it would be hard to forgive. It would be easier to hold on to the pain that people have caused me. It would be easier to allow my desire for justice to take over my desire for mercy.The other thing I know - is that I have to. I have to forgive. Because we all need forgiveness. And the One who has forgiven me of everything - past, present, and future, has asked me to. And I want to be the kind of person who offers grace and forgiveness - not because any of us deserve it necessarily, but because God has done it for me when I was undeserving- and it's a beautiful thing.Ultimately, it comes down to the truth that I have and continue to be forgiven by a perfect and beautiful God who loves me and gives me grace when I screw up. As I Christian, I do not claim to be perfect. I do not claim to be sinless or even less sinful than the next person. What I do claim, is that God has my heart, and I take the responsibility to go to Him again and again with my sin, my brokenness, and my hopes and dreams, too. Being a Christian means that I am a sinner in need of Jesus who has bore the burden of my sin and given me Freedom.  In Paul's letter to the Ephesians he writes; “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”Am I still hurting, frustrated, and saddened? Yes. But that does not mean I am unforgiving. Forgiveness does not mean I have to be happy right away. Forgiveness does not mean I have to hide the truth of what happened. Forgiveness doesn't mean that I have to now be OK with being in relationship with that person. And Forgiveness is not the same thing as Trust. And at this point I'm not able to "forgive and forget" - and God doesn't command that of us.Forgiveness does mean that I give over my hurt and anger and bitterness to God, in confession of my own human feelings and emotions. Forgiveness is a choice - something I have to decide to do, and do it. And forgiveness of someone who has done harm requires the Love of God in me - something I have to continually ask for from Him. And I will.When all of this recent "adoption" fell apart, I remember one of the first things my dad said to me was "Forgive her and move on." My father-in-law has reminded us, too, the importance (and actually, the necessity) of forgiveness. If Jesus, who while being tortured and crucified for doing nothing wrong asked God to forgive those who were killing him, who am I to harbor unforgiveness?As one of my favorite authors puts it; "It is very difficult to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. But, without this, we remain fettered to our past - unable to dance. Forgiveness is the great spiritual weapon against the evil one. As long as we remain victims of anger and resentment, the power of darkness can continue to divide us and tempt us with endless power games. But when we forgive those who threaten our lives, they lose their power over us...Forgiveness enables us to take the first step of the dance (with God)..." -Henri NouwenSo we forgive. And we are continually asking God to give us the faith and grace to keep on forgiving. And we are moving on.