in the waiting

To be honest, I really didn't think the waiting part would be hard. I thought that, because I have so much going on and so many responsibilities, I would be too busy to notice.  But it has been hard. It has been frustrating to say "I have no idea how long it will be". We are on the 'wait list", but there is really no word and no estimated time-line of when we will hear any news about a match. (photos from my trip to Uganda with my friend Brandi and  Beauty for Ashes Uganda)Isaiah 61 is my favorite chapter in the Bible. I read it often and write about it often. I've based a lot of my life on the truth and beauty found in this word."The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."I know that ultimately, the Father of Love wants us to have a deeper intimacy with Him...and through that, fruit will come. I think that when we don't need to wait for something, we don't think we need Him as much. I think we often forget that we need Him all the time. Even when we think we have it all together, and we are content with the way things are, and maybe even comfortable with our lives, we forget how much we need HIm. I forget to draw near to Him. But that's what He wants. And as we grow closer with Him, we realize what really matters, we understand more of His heart, and we gain more compassion and love for the broken-hearted, the captives, the ones who've been mourning and despairing. Through deep intimacy with Him, He will allow us to be people that bind up the brokenhearted, that comfort those who mourn, and to bestow on them beauty, joy, and praise. I want that and I want to believe and trust that the time will come soon. That I will be able to be a mama to some children who have been in mourning and who have felt despair. I want to open my arms and my heart to welcome them, to love on and to be a part of Jesus placing a crown of beauty and a garment of praise over their lives. I also know that in the wait, I want to be a part of Him doing the work around me from where I am. It's hard to not be there, to not know who my children are or how long it will be. But I'm asking God to show me how to do that now, from where I am, and with a heart of passion.